THE EMPIRE NEVER ENDED, Philip K. Dick wrote. The Empire being the Roman Empire, and also being what he called the Black Iron Prison, which encompassed all the world. Which you could not fight, because “to fight the Empire was to become part of the Empire”. It had continued on, in his reckoning, at least in spiritual form. He saw traces of it all around him when he walked the streets of 20th century California, a psychological construct meant to enslave all and everything, superimposed upon the material world at large, which nobody ever sensed was there: because it had been so all-pervasive, as ignored as the air we breathe. But perhaps it is also an even stranger thing.

If the Empire never ended, had it ever begun? One interesting intersection is that the Roman Empire is referred to in scripture, at times, as BABYLON. The big deal about Babylon, of course, was that way back in 586 BC, the Babylonians destroyed the temple of YHVH, and basically kidnapped everyone in Jerusalem. This had been so traumatic an experience that when you did refer to Rome as Babylon, every Jew would nod their head and agree, yep, I know exactly what you’re talking about. But does the Empire go back even farther than this? How about Egypt, which had supposedly enslaved the whole of Israel for 400 years? But upon that topic what is remembered instead was their Exodus, and the Passover, and that of which eventually led to their inhabiting the Promised Land.

But what if the Empire was not what Phil believed it to be? Not in its spirit, but its representation. The Empire was Rome, and Rome was Babylon, and maybe… something else? Babylon fell, as we all should know. And then did Rome, too, fall. You could even progress it further into the future from that: might you say that the Empire was also the Third Reich? Of which we know they took a few cues from the Roman Empire, when convenient. Indeed, this would further strengthen the argument: THE EMPIRE NEVER ENDED. Though Babylon fell, it continued; though Rome fell, it continued; though Nazi Germany fell, it continued. The idea: it is still around. And there is no way to fight it. The Empire saw your birth, and it will remain after you are long gone. Unless…

What if you could fight the Empire? That the first qualification to be able to do so was to read between the lines, to work it out for oneself: you would become a part of the Empire if you fought against it violently: Phil wrote that you couldn’t fight it because theirs was a way of violence. But what if one wages, not war, but peace? Because one of Jesus’ titles, and perhaps his best, is Prince of Peace. Phil had an idea that the big JC was going to come back sometime soon, like many, many apocalyptic prophets of the New Testament. See, you fight the Empire like Our Master fought it: take up thy cross and follow in his Way. In this wise the authorities might actually have proclaimed him King of the Jews—quite literally, and of their own free will. And now—you have cause to rejoice in this, the new news, that not only have we fought against the Empire, but we have defeated it.

So, right, the Empire indeed has no beginning. Reading the above might have given you a clue to that idea. Moreover, that that statement can be read in two ways, one of which (if we had not won), would have meant that the Empire would have become an eternal construct. But as Phil wrote at the end of VALIS, in the “Tractates: Cryptica Scriptura”, he saw that the Empire was defeated—though not here on Earth. The vision he had of this in 1974 was reflected in the resignation of Richard Nixon, who was of that Empire. In eternity, then, it had been accomplished, but here, it continued, and THE EMPIRE NEVER ENDED. But now, there is something new that is emergent in the world. As you are reading this, you can be told the truth of that which is Eternity, which too is the true name of Now: THE EMPIRE NEVER WAS….

Shadows without a source. We find that these were all that could be said of what anyone truly knew of the Empire. Philip K. talked about some visions he had had, and which some others had also glimpsed, the ephemeral shifting shades of another world or worlds. So much worse than the one currently around us, which the forces on high prevented from happening. That there were competing realities, and thank God this one was the one that won out. And the Empire was of that ilk. Myself, I had a different vision of it… Whereas he saw the darkness superimposed on the waking world, I entered headlong completely contained within the Nightmare. Yes, drugs were involved, but truly—I was no longer on Earth. Not just any “trip”. What I was not allowed to think while there (this I felt in my bones, that I could not even rouse the word, if even I knew where it was I had to have been): I was in Hell.

Think, what do we know about Hell? Something not that many people are aware of was that Christianity in its first few hundred years had no such thing as eternal damnation. The whole of the church were Universalist, which meant that at some point, even the Devil himself was saved. Christ’s sacrifice for all literally meant all. It was in the hands of (so-called) Saint Augustine that the idea of an eternal Hell gained in popularity. But when you start piecing things together, experiencing what I have experienced, you come across the realization that if there had been an actual Hell, that would have meant that the ’Prison had become eternal, and what would be of this consequence? That we had lost the War in Heaven. The true existence of Hell, as advertised, would have meant that THE EMPIRE NEVER ENDED. Forever. Into the future, into the past, inescapable. Destroying worlds.

But just tilt the thinking, just a bit. What would it mean if we had won? Phil had thought that there were epic shiftings of multiple realities. But what I have discovered is that God and Nature basically work by the Principle of Parsimony. Evidence is the fact that all physical things go toward their lowest energy state. This means that one quantum mechanical idea, that at each decision point, all reality splits into two realities, both just as real, except that there’s the one difference between them? No. That would be an incredible waste, truly. No. There is ONLY ONE reality. Deal with it. Reality is more precious than you can imagine, the meanest parts of it. Too, there is reality, and there is illusion. Illusion has no substance, but rather, has the minimum amount of material integrity to be perceived at all, and in fact is not really anything more than the perception of it. And it turns out, the Black Iron Prison never existed. Shadows without a source. No beginning to go along with no ending. Because… THE EMPIRE NEVER WAS.

Here’s a thought experiment: consider the cosmology of the Zoroastrians. They believe that there are two gods who contend with each other, Ahura Mazda (“Lord of Wisdom”) and Angra Mainyu (“Destructive Spirit”), equal in power and scope. Which is nowhere like the Christian sense that there is an all-powerful good God and really, Satan is not God’s opposite. Satan is finite. The Zoroastrians are where many of the common ideas of good vs. evil, light vs. darkness gets its inspiration from, even if theirs specifically does not fit into the Judeo-Christian ideation. But what if? What if in the eternal struggle between Ahura Mazda (Light) and Angra Mainyu (Darkness), that Light had won? In Eternity? Would it not then be as if the living Darkness… would it look to have never existed at all? Would all that remained of the Evil be as scraps of its original material, that actually held nothing of genuine Darkness, only just a figment of what might have been? Like what exists now? For as we know, darkness does not exist, except as that which is lacking light.

Like, as if the Black Iron Prison, as if Hell itself, never had existed. Like as if there was nothing more to the visions of Hell than just its idea. Letting this story, or set of stories, mix a bit as we stir the cauldron, may I impress upon you that that notion above must ultimately remain a thought experiment. A conspiracy theory. As it happened, we did win the War in Heaven, the good guys. Like Phil. The idea of Hell (and everybody has one) was never allowed to be material, ever. I believe that this was one reason I was not even permitted to think the word “Hell” when I was “there”. The Empire that Never Ended… well, in fact it had never begun. Because it never was. The Empire Never Was. This is the escape from its psychology, which all its constructs ever were: illusion. That simple. You are free because you always have been free. To achieve enlightenment is to realize you are already there. Saints before me have glimpsed the place reserved for them in Hell. But ashes to ashes, dust to dust, we always find that the soul cannot be kept in irons. 

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3)

Love costs. Like dreams cost. Real dreams—not these which do not immediately degenerate into hard work, these which do not hold a promise of a better day—not idle wondering, but those dreams that make men brave. (And which vindicate the woman.) I imagine a ledger where all experience is chronicled in its most basic form, where strange coinage is put as the line items to the great sum of how all this matters. What love is such that one does not sacrifice something? Like an easy honor, that which is untested, the tensile strength of which is no more than a wink.

After my little performance in following directions from the vision—about the naked run to Pittsburgh—apparently then the rules changed. I still have trouble in believing it, how just that 5 minutes could change everything. No running from NYC to Pittsburgh, not in the birthday suit; instead I booked train tickets there for around when the elements of that vision were to show up and change everything. But it was no longer the Apocalypse. We still maybe expected something, still, to show up. I called it the Weirdness [that was to come]. I got locked away by then. I never got to go to Pittsburgh.

The day forecast in the vision came and went, then the next day (this had been the initial updated date, right after my 5 minutes). Before they said that everything changed. No weirdness. I should maybe have still kept looking. The Olympics came and went, while I was in the employ of the Cause. This year was especially strange, if for nothing else than a lot of famous people died in it. A clue? And then the Cubs go to win it all—not weird? And come election day… and what in the actual fuck? President Trump? And then I understood.

Donald Trump becoming President of the United States: here was the weirdness. Looking back, I can’t imagine how anyone else could have won. He is the avatar of what the US has now become; America is now a caricature of itself: this was when ordinary villainy turned into cartoonish super-villainy—that concept taken from the Simpsons, when Mr. Burns unveiled his plan for blocking out the sun. And Trump? What’s that humongous wall he wants to build? True, the nihilist in me secretly wonders how this will all go down, but the rest of me dreads of evil things.

Verily, what is meant to be? Generally understood to mean something that happens which is meaningful. Not all things that happen are meant to be—at least, not to us. Certain thresholds will hold. But looking at what “meant to be” might mean to you, I recall one co-worker of mine complaining that computers never did what you wanted them to do (as opposed to what you tell them to do). He had a certain intent which did not translate into the specific instructions that made sense of it to the machine. It did not do what he meant for it to do. One wonders what it would be like, for everything to happen like we meant? Like there would be no more need for apologies? That’s Heaven, that’s New Jerusalem. It’s never that bad things are impossible, physically impossible—something will distract the one who wanted a catastrophe, something will be remembered, something will be calculated—it doesn’t come up, all the actual pieces needed to wreak vengeance just never come together. Serendipity and all his brothers seem to run the scene.

high in the frost where giants dwell, the sky was lost in snow
the rainbow bridge crossed the silver divide, sprinkled upon with stars
the shade of silence through midnight, far above the dream of the machines

do androids dream of electric sheep?

Things seem to be falling apart, at times—at least, to some of us. But ask someone who has eaten many years about the state of the world, and they will tell you that everything has always been falling apart. Even the most apocalyptic wild man will admit that the world has a tendency not to end. Where there is light, there is hope. And sometimes in the darkness, too. Like waking up God knows where, but her suffering has somehow evaporated, saying an aside to a friend who had been accompanying her (at least, in the previous world). Awakening in New Jerusalem from the midst of the Holocaust. Catching a glimpse, maybe? of the lay of the land—and Herr Hitler is here? This must be good. Everything, I think, is mixed into that equation. It is a sign.

Ask and it shall be given you, seek and you shall find. Do you have ears, but do not hear? Shall we pray twice and if God does not answer us the second time, we give up? Have you asked, and it was not given? Did you seek, and it was found to be nowhere? Understood, we understand how that can happen (and you can be sure Josh knows, too), but if you did not ask, will it be given you? If you did not seek, how would it be found? Get with the program. If you feel courageous, try it from the other point of view: when you are asked for something, give it; and then, find yourself what someone else is seeking. Do it like Josh, do it like justice: not to go by the letter of a request, always to understand the spirit in which it is asked. Be a part of what is meant to be.

To the Christians reading this, let me insert this quote:

The most critical issue facing Christians is not abortion, pornography, the disintegration of the family, moral absolutes, MTV, drugs, racism, sexuality, or school prayer. The critical issue today is dullness. We have lost our astonishment. The Good News is no longer good news, it is okay news. Christianity is no longer life changing, it is life enhancing. Jesus doesn’t change people into wild-eyed radicals anymore. He changes them into “nice people”.
–Mike Yaconelli

Remember? John the Baptist said to the people, do you think because you are sons of Abraham that you will be spared? God can from these rocks raise sons of Abraham. Yes, looking around to the number of Christians in the world, apparently God did just that. What shall we say now? We have become sodomites: “This was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy.” [Ezekiel 16:49 NRSV] “But Lord, when did we see you hungry, and did not feed you? When were you naked, and we did not clothe you?” “Even as you have done it to the least of these, you have done it unto me.” If you have it in your head that being a Christian gives you an excuse to do stupid or evil things, you have it in reverse. To be able to look down at people, to exclude them from the finer things: you have it backward, friend. That’s what the losers do.

There was a light, but it faded. It was not faith.

There were visions, but they twisted. They were not faith.

There was a feeling, but it was illusory. It was not faith.

Faith was to hold on, when all those things went wrong.

Because I saw that light, had those visions, felt what I felt.

The narrow way is a journey, and rest may only be momentary.

It is a life that leads to life.

I know something about love… God is love. (You don’t even need to believe in God to believe that God is love.) This is that transcendent love that is more than what is merely categorized as affection. So here is what it is, really, the actual Theory of Everything: love, try, learn. In everything any of us experience—there is love for every bit of it. Not a sparrow fall is missed, after all. I understand that that kind of answer was not what Al Einstein was looking for when he was looking for the Theory of Everything. Let there be a lesson in that. As E. E. Cummings put it, “thou answerest them only with spring”.

We have always already won, Philip K. tells us. This is what happens when you’re on the side of the Beginning and the End. Remember: light is not a dream, darkness does not exist, and the game of life can be won when we decide never to be defeated. All that we know about this world are imperfect ill-fitting sections, but that does not mean they are useless by being flawed.

Look: we had God with us, and we threw Him away, denied Him with prejudice. Phil said that God was to be found in the trash layer of the world (“God in the gutter” someone put it)—blessed be the Janitor of God. And I know something about love: there is a why that escapes your most subtle grasp: love costs. Try anyway. Learn what love is. Try to have something to lose, learn what makes something real. For this is the Accounting of reality, seen and unseen; and all the prophets; and all the law: love always returns. And wherever you go, beware the love that comes out of nowhere—because it is everywhere.

If you’re Jewish, Josh told me He looked around, and said the Jews have done a fine job being the Chosen People. Heh. Did you almost forget? I’m crazy. I have eaten the body and drunk of the blood of our Savior.

Joshua the Messiah.

Get used to it.