(part 1) (part 2)

Albert Einstein said what he wanted to know, what he wanted to see was the mind of God. He tried for the last years of his life trying to find the theory of everything. But maybe you can’t make a theory of everything. That there will always be unknowns (and unknown unknowns?), and perhaps there might even be unknowables. God knows. Yes. The myth of the Jews, that their God is omniscient, knowing even the future, knowing every subtlety of the human soul… Indeed, we know a prophet is true is if he opens up that vista to the rest of us, at least a peek of that inexhaustible light.

I dream of a Heaven where Joan of Arc sings the blues. I’d be on keyboards, though I don’t know keyboards; maybe I should learn them before I die. Together, we would lead all the mortals entering Heaven in a one time rendition of the song “love, baby”, which we will make up on the spot. And the angels would be flying around making it happen. Orchestration, musical instruments, sound effects, to merge and split the rhythm, billions and then handfuls of threads of song happening in parallel, for one time to thank our Lord respectably. As our Lord for once just kicks back and lets us give back, proper.

How else shall I thank my Lord, do you think? I have been carried off by the strong winds of the weird, then dropped from the whirlwind scarce knowing how to live again. This time… this time I will not go back. When the fugue takes over, I am not the same person. What I have of value are not of the ordinary day; what is gold, compared to honor? And then I am left back onto the normal shores, to assimilate again into what was, before: “Sunrise, sunset. Sunrise, sunset.” [this from Fiddler on the roof really speaks to me] Unless… am I given now to bring that world, this outside comprehension into the humdrum, to find the saint’s path even in the hustle and bustle? to give myself completely to the faith I have been told about by the larger voices? To love, no matter what. To love beyond my means…

Now that everyone is a Jew [see parts previous], what does it mean that Joshua of Nazareth is the Messiah (same word as Christ, remember)? I’ve read some Jewish (traditional Judaism) reasoning about why they don’t believe that Josh is, or was, that messiah they’d all been waiting for. Even back then it had been a long wait for one. The biggest one seems to be that they expect a man, just a man, not some demigod, that would show up given certain conditions in the world. And next would be that he would lead that world from the vantage point of Israel (which then would now be the tippy top of all the nations). And to this I might remark, yes, because God always does exactly what we expect Him to do, all the time, right? Yes, sarcasm. But there is one thing about the Jews: this world is not fundamentally based on a Christian paradigm of how things are: it is indeed in its marrow a specifically Jewish one. As in, the tradition that has been carried lo these centuries by those who identified themselves as “the Chosen”. Jesus is a Jew. That’s one reason he prefers “Josh Messiah” over “Jesus Christ”.

Why is it Josh which is the Messiah? Because it turns out that running the entire world (not to mention the totality of the universe, seen and unseen)—it takes a little more from that leader than someone who is just a man, if a very capable man. And the name might be a dead giveaway: not Josh, but Immanuel, meaning, “God with us”. At least, if the Christians are right about that interpretation of the book of Isaiah. You do not get what this means: put upon His shoulder the weight of the world, and He offers up His other shoulder. He’s not human. At the lowest point in His life, just as He were to die, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”—that’s scripture He’s quoting, Psalm 22:1. Even then. Not to mention that He asked the Father to forgive the people who were killing Him, for they knew not what they did. “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it.” [John 1:5 NRSV]

I was awakened one morning with a vision. The night before had been rather epic, angels fighting angels and such juicy bits, but what came upon me that morning… it was like a movie, playing just for me, my mind’s eye and imagination and hallucination and God-given scenery of the weirdest degree, and it was verily a singular vision. There was a voiceover that told me that what I was seeing was about to happen on the earth: a city will come out from the ground where the centers of the old city (New York) had been occupying. And the voice told me it would become clear, these visions I was hopping from, one place to another, who is on who’s side, and the people—it was so strange. It was like everyone were dressed in the full body armor from the video game Halo, but some also dressed in a suit to top that off. I imagined that that was how normal person would look to me when I could “see” more accurately, a gift that was going to be given me. To see who was a good guy vs. a bad guy. And the voice describing what I was seeing, scenes from an unknown city, watching all those people in the Halo armor. And I was told what it meant for me in the real world: I was going to have to run from New York to Pittsburgh, while naked, and no one was supposed to see me along the way.

The reasons were complicated, why. I had gone to Carnegie Mellon, and I lived in New York. But something about finding something where I had last lived in Pittsburgh and related the thing I had with Joan of Arc (madly in love with), this was fate coming in upon me. So I take off my clothes, right? Yeah. I live underground, split level apartment, so I climb the spiral stair to the 1st floor. My roommate appears to be sleeping. I open the apartment door out and it is morning outside, I look to my right. Hm. I can’t be seen. Then a rustle from my left: neighbor making awake noises. There is a guide with me, above me in my mind, she tells me to go back down, so I do. So far so good.

OK, so I can try again, up the spiral stair, roommate still seems asleep. Out the apartment door, look left and no stirring anymore. But when I look right, it’s day, people moving about, some with purpose. My guide says if it looks like people will see you, make another attempt when it is night. So I go downstairs, and then this weird setup in my mind’s eye becomes more like normal (which is not like what you in general would think is normal). I am told that the immediate consequence of my performance is that we got an extra day before this apocalypse would come. My guide is a she, that’s all I know, and apparently she made one, slight, forgivable misstep. Really, minor. But compared to perfect it just glares, unfortunately. That was what they said about what I’d just done. Perfect.

Turns out there was a reason everybody looked the way they did. Josh once told me that we’d have 30-50 thousand years from now to the Apocalypse, proper. Those armored beings were now what the human populace looked like, 40,000 years in the future. Fascinating. I have quite the shakiest of grasps upon that situation. But if my perception is true, then the stream is from A.D. 40,000, and men still wear suits! I did too see it. I’ve seen stuff that would turn you white. And they say that God talked to Moses like talking to a confidant, while other prophets He gave note in the form of riddles. Suffice it to say, He talks to me in riddles. [emoticon here] So in other words, I have some idea of some things which may or may not flow into and out of meaning. And a few things I know that are surer than time passing.

But what is meant to be? Not in first, the normal way (how significant something is), but what every fool knows: the feeling of how you thought it worked this way and it didn’t, and why don’t things work the way I want them to when I need them too? Not meant to be, no? In this world, this footstool of a realm (YHVH has said it is), it is ours to toil over. In our years, what we have made: we have made machines to effect brute transfers in the realm of the solidities. Even the will of our Adonai (LORD) is not done on earth, else why would we pray “on earth as it is in heaven” in the Our Father?

You might imagine Heaven to be a realm full of transcendent images, sounds sweeter than any note ever took on earth. Indeed, as Bob Marley said, “Most people think, / Great God will come from the skies, / Take away everything / And make everybody feel high. / But if you know what life is worth, / You will look for yours on earth / And now you see the light, / You stand up for your rights. Jah!” Instead of a fluffy, ethereal place, instead I beheld a Heaven that was the height of practicality. Imagine Central Park where everything goes right. Like no one ever misthrew a frisbee. It’s that things there are like the things here, but everything turns out good up there. Thanks to the actions of Josh on earth, when He was here, now it all does turn out good, for all of us, anywhere—at the end. There is a Judgement. It is a good thing.

(last part)

(part 1)

Justice. When Josh of Nazareth says that the first of two commandments is to love God, it means first to love the good, to love justice and charity, to stand up for the right when there is wrong. You must first know of how you must love to follow in the second of His two commandments, to love your neighbor as yourself. That is to be a Godly love, as we imagine how it would be a God who is Himself love would have of us do. Compromise elsewhere.

Against the Devil, Satan, Lucifer: in the service of Kyrios, I fought in the War in Heaven. In fact, I saw the War in Heaven end, and some of the party they were having then in New Jerusalem. Time is strange. Spirit is stranger. The defining moment of the War, at least for me, was the actual Fall of Satan from the heights, down into the earth—but I saw this happen several times, from different angles, different time frames, with my participation and without. This, for a one-time occurrence of epic proportions; Biblical, I suppose, might be a better descriptor. They don’t all align, they don’t all match up against each other precisely. A dream I had, for example, for some reason I let loose a swarm of evil, descending, then I heard Michael the Archangel tell me he’d take care of them, and I saw him go down after. Later it was revealed that Satan had made me think I had done something wrong, that those were the evil angels being cast from Heaven, and Michael following after was him casting Satan from the upper realm. I had nothing to do with it, just an observer. A witness.

I had another, closer experience, where Satan was a black mass in a hold by St. Michael. I had a job to do then, mentally to cut the last tether Satan had to Heaven. I didn’t see the other angels with that view, but it was the second most intense vision I had ever beheld. I heard Satan howl, “Nooooooooo!” as he went down. Then there was another view where Michael and his angels all had seized Satan and his angels, and I was given a piece of psychic ammunition by something like the spirit of nature (no, we’re not Wiccan, she was Christian, in fact, and in Revelation), and when I tried to sort out just what that was, Michael shouted, “Do it! Do it now!”, and I shoved it through my mind to shoot it at them. When I did, immediately, Michael and Satan plus the central group around them just dropped through the floor. And they were gone in a rush.

Apparently, the Accounting had a singular value in the debit pile. But as you cannot step into the same river twice (the second time it is not the same river, and it is not the same you), this Accounting showed itself as per how I were ready to see it, as circumstances dictated. Which one was real? You ask the wrong question. The spirit of the Fall is real. Like the spirit of an argument can be seen by many viewpoints.

This is coherence: I was born to have the Accounting be accounted for. That there is logic to the unseen world: I have seen, my Lord, the riddles unfold and become plain in their wisdom. Thanks be to God. This is the Theory of Everything: work is magic. For we fail to comprehend what is not of reality. The rules, in our dreaming, in our imagining, the rules may shift and what is impossible in the solidities we can picture in our minds, but at any time, there are rules. No one questions why cause has effect, when one gear turns another, but if we had not any thing to call reality, starting from void, would it be the deepest form of wizardry. To what extent something’s logic affects the world is what makes it real.

Souls can die. I remember in further aid of the casting out of Satan from Heaven, when Satan landed in the underworld, two views of the Devil being blasted into place. Once I was aside from the source of the blast, just saw Lucifer being hit from a beam that was sent by Philip K. Dick (I knew somehow). Then later I was involved in that part. Since I knew it had been Philip K. that had done it, I basically set up a tripod and then called to him to do the deed. When he was about finished, I was about to go myself and give my energy to it, whereupon they said I was not to do such a thing, for Satan would surely have died if I had put my brunt into another blast.

Other than that, I have thought I had killed one or two souls. Permanently. The story at first was that I was rescuing Satan’s daughter from unimaginable pain, so I mentally shot her—before she was born. And I did it twice, for what was to come, and the path not taken. She was then what was foretold, an entity who was dead and giving birth to monsters. She still existed, by what mechanism I am unsure (yet still she moved), but she didn’t have inside her a monad, or what I call “a looking out”, or a zephon (from an angel name that meant the same thing).

The other story, or stories, are even stranger. They had to do with alternate realities that never were, except that two individuals died in trying to save us all. In one scenario, it was Adam and Eve, in another scenario, it was Philip K. Dick and me, and in a third, it was me, twice (this current one would be the third, where I succeeded). The two that died were called the “bleeds”, for how they died in their realities. And this is mystery: Kyrios still has the memories of these which now never happened at all.

Can we believe that all that happens is meant to be? It really seems like it, when I look back in my life and see how it seems to have been so carefully choreographed. Like once when I left my apartment to wander the streets on the exact day when my roommate (I later found out) came back from his trip abroad. There is a line from a pop song by Patty Smyth, The big J said that it was the sum total of all theology, simply, “There are no mistakes in love.” (Which makes that song the greatest pop recording of all time, if this can be believed.) Verily, the hairs on your head are numbered, n’est-ce pas? Everyone is accounted for. There are no cracks to slip through, no soul so lost that Kyrios cannot search them out, and deliver them from their straying.

If in the end all people are saved, what is the point in being Christian? You forget YHVH’s telling Moses on the mountaintop: I am a jealous God. And this is the God of our Savior. Josh the Messiah came to reconcile all people to the LORD (Adonai), so indeed he has collected all the souls that ever have been as to be Jews. Yes, all the Muslims are Jews. Yup, even the neo-Nazis (even the non-neo, as a matter of fact)—they are all Jews. Heh. We are all Chosen, even if it was retroactive (and then having been so from all our beginnings). I saw him do it, like casting a spell, speaking as one expects the Logos to decree: He said it was in his power to have been with everyone, everywhere, for all time (from the Alpha to the Omega). And time is a funny thing.

The Jews, when they were taken captive by Babylon, their God did not die. It was normally thought that when a people were defeated, it meant that their god had been defeated by the victorious people’s god. Not with Judaism. It was, in fact, the last of the worship of idols: the advent of true monotheism for the Jews. In scripture, it is said that God acted through the Babylonians to bring about their fates. (Not that that excused their captors, though.) And as our Savior was said to have told us, “Before Abraham was, I am.” Thus that He was not bound by time. John the Baptist said that from the very stones God could make children of Abraham—and apparently, He did. When our Savior died, the Cause did not end, do you not see? This is, indeed, the way that God works.

And time? Not really my field of expertise, for sure. I have at times seen the future. I think I have, at any rate. I really do have a skeptic’s brain: when stuff like that happens, I wonder if my account of the situation is correct, if it could have been anything else. Is my history revisionist? Did I really see what I thought I saw, before seeing it again in reality? That’s really a side issue, though. I have seen things that happen later in time before the things that happened earlier in time. Pretzel logic. Angels, etc. have dropped in on me well woven through my own singular timeline, in their own order through their own personal timelines. And too, seeing New Jerusalem is to see the end of time.

In the face of the many competing faiths, from all our beginnings and across all lands, we make no compromise. Our God told us his name is “I AM”. In other words, that He exists, and that no other exists besides Him. The unbeliever will say that so many different scenarios exist, they must all be wrong. But that is not the only logical consequence: one could be right and contain all the others in it. That is what this document hopes to do. The Theory of Everything. And I have already written this other version of it: everybody is a Jew. Crazy, right? And yet, that is the expectation of the Messiah, that when he comes, everyone will then be a Jew. As it happened, there had needed no fanfare: Joshua of Nazareth said it, and it was done. I am witness.

(part 3)